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Standing Up for Preteen Hotties

Picture from Daily Beast - There is no excuse for child bridesTHE WORLD looked on in awe for months as Donald Trump slouched towards Washington to be president, borne on the backs of Muslims and Mexicans, but only Trinidad responded in kind last week and offered up a man who could trump Trump: Inter-Religious Organisation president, Brother Harrypersad Maharaj, like the Donald, had the cojones to buck the firetrucking establishment and stand up for child marriage, the only thing that will make Trinidad great again.

Feminists, humanists and all those other dubious –ists, have called good Clean Harry dirty names for propagating the IRO’s unanimous defense of the legal right of old men to marry girls young enough to be their grandchildren. In Trinidad, under their respective Marriage Acts, little Hindu girls can be legally married at age 14 and Muslim girls a full two years earlier. Muslim men, therefore, can enjoy nuptial Islamic bliss with 12-year-old children, a rare instance of the Mandingas getting in on the better deal in Trinidad. (This blessing may be linked to Aisha, fourth wife of the Prophet Muhammud [piece be unto his name], who, on her wedding night, had attained the ripe old age of nine, and took her toys to the matrimonial bed, pending consummation by her 56-year-old husband.)

Infidels have heaped abuse on God’s champions for standing up for these crucial Trinidadian family values but Clean Harry and the holy IRO understand that, while other cultures put a prohibition on children having sex with adults too early, ours puts a premium on it.

A truly civilized nation balances competing interests dispassionately. We must weigh the rights of small children not to have grown men’s sexual organs shoved into them against the rights of religions and the old men who run them to do what they say God wants; and God should win, a view shared by Spiritual Baptist Archbishop Barbara Burke, and one Mule-Anna Sherass, who came out swinging in their support for Clean Harry. Regrettably, the Catholics took God out of marriage: Archbishop Joseph Harris held the only backward view expressed by men (and woman) of God this week in calling the marriage of 12-year-old girls legalized statutory rape; he should hang his head in shame for his falling from God and from Trinidadian family values.

Trinidad & Tobago is not a secular state, thank Gods, but one in which every possible God is obeyed (except Jah, whose injunction to smoke herb, when followed by Rastafarians, does not take them out of Babylon but into Remand Yard). A secular state would unhesitatingly protect defenceless 12-year-old girls from the ravages of men in their 70s. In Trinidad, though – thank Gods – adult men retain a legal right alongside their divine and cultural ones to firetruck children.

If a decrepit old Trinidadian man holds a genuine belief that Allah or some Hindu god – one would expect it to be Vishnu – wants him to firetruck little girls, a decent religious society must respect that sincere belief and enforce it over any imaginary right of the child not to be molested. In this country, thanks be to Gods, taxi drivers summed up child sexual consent in two beloved adages: 1. “Old enough to bleed, old enough to butcher; and 2. “After 12 is lunch”. We need no further debate than that.

Clean Harry is right: early sexualization of children is our culture. We post videos on FaceBook that we ourselves shot of our own toddler offspring, five- and six-year-olds at primary school Carnival fetes, girls wining their little asses in the air, boys jamming their presumably hard little penises against them as roughly as they can, while we giggle in delight.

The honest Trinidadian truth is that the Hindu and Muslim Marriage Acts do not go far enough. We know Trinidad produced several preteen mother last year because Clean Harry and Mule-Anna Sherass pointed out that constituted another great advantage of child marriage, namely that it legitimized child pregnancy and, by implication, child rape.

So, let’s call a spade a spade and admit there are lots of little firetruckers out there in kindergartens from Westmoorings to Point Galeota. And let us start a petition, not to raise the legal age of consent, but to lower it. The age of sexual consent should be five in Trindad, six at the very most!

If there are great advantages in having sex – or having sex forced upon you – before you are old enough to drive a car or vote, there should be even greater advantages in having sex forced upon you before you sit the 11-Plus or make your first communion. Even Catholic priests would agree (provided having legal sex with small children was extended to include little boys).

A sexual age of consent of five would also be good for the economy: we could win the lucrative paedophile tourism industry that Cuba enjoyed before their revolution almost 60 years ago. We could also combine our belief in child brides with Islamic polygamy and allow paedophiles to marry four or more five-year-old girls, ensuring a stable society where girls know their place is under old men, and do their duty with God-fearing pride.

The coup de grace, though, for the Muslim & Hindu Marriage (Lowering of Age of Consent Amendment) Acts, would be a clause requiring compulsory female circumcision, which, in keeping with the established law, would force Hindu girls to be excised at age two, and baby Muslim girls at nought.

BC Pires will return to the Secondary Assessment Examination, that other abuse of small children, next Friday

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