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​Insect Aside

An old one-liner which, for best comic effect, you should set up with extra, preliminary questions and then leave the last question hanging, so the listener supplies the answer: what do you call the killing of a man? Homicide. What do you call the killing of a brother? Fratricide. Of a father? Patricide. Of a king? Regicide. Of oneself? Suicide.

What do you call the killing of an insect?
Good one, yes, but is there a word for the killing of snails? And is there a special word for the wholesale murder of gastropods? I’d like to know what crime I’m committing.
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​What Sinner Name?

BETWEEN COVID in 2019 and cancer in 2022, I didn’t watch tennis for so long, I didn’t know the names of players at Wimbledon, but that didn’t stop it from being the best Wimbledon since Roger Federer retired, and not only because NoVaxx Jokeysumbitch got served, royally, by the young man we now know as Carlitos.

John McEnroe described Carlos Alcaraz, the world number one even before he put the shoes on NoVaxx in London SW19, as the best 20-year-old player he ever saw, even better than Federer, Djokovic and Rafa Nadal when they all were 20.
Alcaraz gave the commentators almost as much trouble with the pronunciation of his surname as he gave NoVaxx with the tennis ball. Now anyone could be forgiven for struggling with Carlitos’ surname because it’s so visually and phonetically close to Alcatraz, the American maximum security penitentiary on Alcatraz Island off San Francisco; in Trinidad, he will probably be called Carlos Alcatraz. (And some Trini will suggest they “name him so becaw he does kill them other tennis player and them.”)
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​Brinsley and Milan

TWO GREAT losses in one week and I’m fearful of a hat trick for Death. The beloved University of the West Indies academic, Professor Brinsley Samaroo, 84, and the Czechoslovakian writer, Milan Kundera, 94, both slipped away, the old Brinsley drawing a lot of love from people writing in our newspapers and the even older Milan doing the same in newspapers all over the world.

Both of them changed the lives of others on different scales, Kundera being a world figure and Samaroo a Trinidadian one, but it’s easy to name the greater influence on me.
Milan Kundera wrote a string of magnificent books, including the three that blew me away, The Unbearable Lightness of Being, The Book of Laughter and Forgetting and Immortality. The obituary pages of the world’s leading newspapers recognise how much he changed novel-writing itself.
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​The NHS and the POS General Mess

IS NOT today Y’Boy studying these Trinis who doesn’t read at all-at all, who never even finish a literature book in secondary school – but pontificating on what kinda book RIK should sell today; it have nothing more annoying than a cockroach who does push up he-self in fowl’ business.

Also, too, Y’Boy does get real kicks how Trini does jump to confusion and grip it like pit bull. When Trinity College boys contravene the school hairstyle guide, as a for instance, Trini cyar see nothing but anti-African racism in it, ent it? Y’Boy ent denying the anti-African racism aplenty everywhere – but is not the only thing; ex-specially when it have restriction on all haircut. Y’Boy not saying the school was right because, once somebody hair not scaring the horses, nobody should tell them what to do it with it; too besides, you could look at the inhumanity and see is wrong. But you have to tick every box before you moves past it and declare your gut reaction to be correct.
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​Raleigh ‘round the West Indies

WHO SEND me to watch West Indies play the arse and a few overs of cricket at the World Cup qualifiers in South Africa last weekend? I, who, over ten months of crippling cancer treatment have remained in a fairly good mood by refusing to watch West Indies games, got sucked back into this most persistent form of Caribbean masochism via the same patriotic rabbit hole: I thought I would at least do my bit for a team that refuses to do its own bit for itself.

It’s hard to say which cut-arse was harder to take, the one I fully expected from ball one from Zimbabwe on Saturday, or the one we really had to work overtime to lose against the Netherlands on Monday.
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