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TGIF columns are in order by date from the most recent.

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Cummings & Goings

BY THE topee-tambo standards of covid & Trumpworld, it was a good week for liberal democracy and a bad one for the two dunce frontrunners leading the Western race to totalitarianism. On one side of the pond, a Grand Jury took the first steps towards criminal charges being laid against the Fat Nixon Group of Charlatans and, on the other, Dominic Cummings, the master-moron of Brexit, turned like the snake he is and bit his former charmer in the asp.

And, in the vast Atlantic Ocean that reflects the gulf between Boris Johnson and Donald J for Jackass Trump on the one hand and the future of democracy on the other, those two developments constitute a little good news.

For the handful of people left on these rocks who remember what freedom and responsibility really are.

Rupert Murdoch – possibly the most evil man in the world, until Mitch McConnell wakes up – and his Who-Gives-a-Fox News will package the New York Grand Jury and Cummings-Gone-Wild as liberal conspiracies – as if the left, anywhere in the world, conspires at anything!

Even in America (where what passes for “the left” would be, in Europe, “the far right”) people on the left don’t conspire. They just hope things will one day finally get better… and Lucy whips the ball away before Charlie Brown can kick it every time.

So Fox Facts-Free News talking fatheads will rant about smacking down “woke-ness” and “owning the Libs”. And lie outright to present a fat fraud and a marginally-less-fat-and-fraudlent upper class twit as being unfairly treated.

And their moronic viewers will fall for it.


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Give Jack His Jackass

BECAW Y’BOY did know in advance he was getting the second Astra-Zeneca jook Wednesday afternoon, Y’Boy take in front, literary, and sit down there Tuesday evening into Wednesday morning to write TGIF early.

Becaw Y’Boy remember – is more like he couldn’ta forget – how sick he did get after the first jook. For the first mussee 18 hours or so, Y’Boy was feeling good, walking in the cane and thing, and then that little taste of the virus which is the injection hit him full force in one lash, like ah over-smoke ganja head, and Y’Boy had was to lie down in he bed, wrap up like a roti, cyar do nothing for he-self, exceptin’ wait for the thing to pass, like a PNM government or one-them long-long freight train they’s have in ‘Merica.

And when it hit him, it was a spirit-lash. Y'Boy shivering in the hot sun, wearing denim jacket and track pants and socks and tam on he head at high noon. But Y’Boy grateful to the Small Mercies Department of Heaven, the onliest one still working these days. Cold sweat and palpitation turn into the sleep of the dead and Y’Boy come out the long dark tunnel with no muscle pain neither no exhaustion, and little bit closer to living little bit longer, because he get that first jab.

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Plight of the Living Brain-Dead

A Trini covid-19 screenplay with apologies to George A Romero’s seminal zombie movie, Night of the Living Dead

SCENE ONE. INT. CABINET MEETING. DAY.

Prime Minister taps bald head distractedly. Finance Minister jumps up from chair, rushes to blow hot breath on PM’s head. Rubs it vigorously with jacket elbow.

PM: I tell you we shoulda take the firetrucking Sabga vaccines! But you say people will talk about the “wan-pasent”! Is 80 per cent herd immunity I want!

[Bats Finance Minister’s elbow away.]

And stop shining my firetrucking head! You ever see a bald head need a shine? Now I have to put on new head makeup for the cameras.

Finance Minister [looking at makeup smudge on jacket regretfully]: Keithos, we couldn’t-a tell people they was getting Astra-Zeneca and then gi’ them Ansa-McAl-Zeneca!

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Not Yet Checkmate for Fat Nixon Pigeon

THE OLD adage about chess with a pigeon never had a better application than to Donald J (for Jackass) Trump. “You should never play chess with a pigeon,” the saying goes, “because all the pigeon does is knock over all the pieces, defecate on the board and then walk around flapping its wings and boasting that it won.”

On Wednesday, Facebook’s Oversight Group, which plays an independent mas, extended the ban on Donald J for Jackass, T for Treason, Trump for another six months.

Thankfully.

Like the pandemic, like the anti-vaxxers and covid-deniers, Trump, Fat Nixon, Fat Abu, fat lot of no good, just doesn’t seem like he’s going away. Even after the comprehensive cut-ass he booked for himself through his covid crisis incompetence, he stood up like a chupidee begging for money, not mercy.

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KFC for Astra-Z

THERE ARE three reasons not to directly mock the covid19-deniers and anti-vaxxers. One, they probably wouldn’t catch the jokes (and certainly wouldn’t laugh at themselves; it’s hard to say which is more depressing, their terminal stupidity or their grim earnestness).

Two, mocking them would make them hold on even more rigidly to opinions – really feelings – with no basis in reality whatever.

They are not troubled at all that there is no proof whatever of the positions they hold so militantly. Indeed, the total absence of proof is, to them, incontrovertible proof they must be right because (as sheeple would realise, if only they “did the research”) there would be SOME proof if they were right, so the fact that there is NO proof at all is clearly proof that the proof they rely upon has been suppressed.

Ent it Facebook does block video and thing? Well, then!

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