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TGIF columns are in order by date from the most recent.

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The NY Times Q&A Bootleg

THE DONALD, whom I really must force myself to refer to respectfully as, “the Jackass-elect”, started this week by stunning the world in a New York Times interview in which he flip-flopped on global warming, the Mexican wall, Crooked Hillary, Obamacare and everything else he said deeply sincerely. What the firetruck, the world said to itself, must the earlier, off-the-record conversation with NYT publisher Arthur Sulzberger Jr have been like?

Luckily for the world, I have it. Like all my other world journalistic scoops, I can certify this is 100 per cent authentic because I made it up myself, the way the Donald makes up 87 per cent of his facts.

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A Trifecta of Today’s Best Films on the Box

Doctor Strange (Scott Derrickson/ 2016/ USA/ Action-Sci-fi-Superhero-Thriller/ 115 mins/ Rated PG-13 for sci-fi violence and action throughout, and an intense crash sequence) 2pm, 4.55pm, 7.50pm & 1045pm Digicel Imax, One Woodbrook Place. Watch this if you liked Batman Begins, Inception or Deadpool. With 3D technology rampant, modern cinema has entered a new phase of pure spectacle. For many filmmakers,

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Red, White & Blues

INTO THE second week now and only a handful of people remain as shocked as I am that we’re actually using the word “President” and that jackass’ name joined together, though I still can’t bring myself to even write the words down; and if I’m in the Nile, it’s the one with the blues, brought on by the whites.

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A Trifecta of Today’s Best Films on the Box

As usual, the DirecTV Channel is the best bet for music lovers with tributes to two Beatles (MusiCares Tribute to Sir Paul McCartney, 3.30pm DTV, GeorgeFest, 4,30pm) and one Boss (MusiCares Person of the Year: Bruce Springsteen, 5.30pm) – and it still has room for the Stones’ own self-serving-but-still-good film of their free gig in Cuba (Havana Moon, 9pm). Had the closing chapter of the trilogy screened as well, the best comic book movies ever shot would have taken today’s trifecta at a canter (Batman Begins, 12.25pm, The Dark Knight (Action-Crime-Drama-Superhero), 2.50pm HBOP).

Today’s number one film:

Black Mass (Scott Cooper/ 2015/ USA/ Biography-Crime-Drama/ 122 mins/ R for brutal violence, language throughout, some sexual references and brief drug use), 3pm HBO Caribbean. Watch this if you liked The Departed, Prisoners or Goodfellas. Viewed on the silver screen, upon its general cinematic release, it seemed impossible to imagine anyone denying Johnny Depp the Best Actor Oscar, BAFTA, Golden Globe and every other award for his role as the real life Jimmy “Whitey” Bulger, perhaps Boston’s most infamous son (and the inspiration for the Jack Nicholson character in The Departed);

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​Trump Translation

WELL THE AMERICAN DREAM – or at least the 2016 version of it fantasized about by 63 per cent of white males and 53 per cent of white females – has turned into the rest of the world’s nightmare: the planet’s biggest jackass is now headed for the White House. It’s full bigoted-misogynistic-racist speed ahead with the Devil taking the foremost and God help the rest of us; in succinct Caribbean historical terms, the white folks are back in charge of the Great House and they’ll surely whip us all into shape pretty damned soon.

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