The Secret Diary of Donald J Trump, aged 71 ¾
Hand on the Nuclear Button, Hands off Ivanka
4 May 2018
Fake News getting worsely. I’ve acheeved more for international global peace in the world by beating up Little Rocket Man than every other world leader combination, especially Angle-Uglier Merkel, but will Fake News back me to get the Noble Peace Prize AND THE NOBLE ECONOMICALS AND SCIENCTIFICS PRIZES TOO because who invented Trump Vodka, which was a gift to Vladdie, I COULD HAVE MADE TRUMP TEQUILA but I don’t like Mexicans, who does, no one, not even the Niger-Americans, and what’s not to love in Vladdie Put-It-In? Many women are saying we are like identicable twins, except that I am so much bigger and stronger and better-looking AND MINE IS BIGGER LIKE MY NUCLER BUTTON BUT MINE IS A REAL ROCKET but he could Put-it-in anytime O my heart beets Deerest Dairy. WHY CAN’T FAKE NEWS UNDERSTAND SIMPLE PREPOSITIIVES? Like, I knew NOTHING about the payments to Stormy but I KNOW they were not made from cam-pain finance things whatever. YOU CAN KNOW EVERYTHING AND NOTHING AT THE SAME TIME I DO IT ALL THE TIME. That’s how I run the country and also my private affairs as well I never had an affair with Angelina Jolie she never rang me back and I had her $130K ready in a bag with a red G-string she’s like a better-looking Melania without all the begging and crying for respect. Sure, the tit job looks good, but what about all the oh-boo-hoo waaah-waaah crybaby stuff nobody knows what I put up with! I should have got her in blonde like Ivanka. Good old Rude Boy Gulliani said it right to Fox Loves Me News: NOBODY TOUCHES MY DAUGHTER. Except me.