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The Secret Diary of Donald J Trump, aged 71 ¾

Hand on the Nuclear Button, Hands off Ivanka

4 May 2018

Deer Dairy

Fake News getting worsely. I’ve acheeved more for international global peace in the world by beating up Little Rocket Man than every other world leader combination, especially Angle-Uglier Merkel, but will Fake News back me to get the Noble Peace Prize AND THE NOBLE ECONOMICALS AND SCIENCTIFICS PRIZES TOO because who invented Trump Vodka, which was a gift to Vladdie, I COULD HAVE MADE TRUMP TEQUILA but I don’t like Mexicans, who does, no one, not even the Niger-Americans, and what’s not to love in Vladdie Put-It-In? Many women are saying we are like identicable twins, except that I am so much bigger and stronger and better-looking AND MINE IS BIGGER LIKE MY NUCLER BUTTON BUT MINE IS A REAL ROCKET but he could Put-it-in anytime O my heart beets Deerest Dairy. WHY CAN’T FAKE NEWS UNDERSTAND SIMPLE PREPOSITIIVES? Like, I knew NOTHING about the payments to Stormy but I KNOW they were not made from cam-pain finance things whatever. YOU CAN KNOW EVERYTHING AND NOTHING AT THE SAME TIME I DO IT ALL THE TIME. That’s how I run the country and also my private affairs as well I never had an affair with Angelina Jolie she never rang me back and I had her $130K ready in a bag with a red G-string she’s like a better-looking Melania without all the begging and crying for respect. Sure, the tit job looks good, but what about all the oh-boo-hoo waaah-waaah crybaby stuff nobody knows what I put up with! I should have got her in blonde like Ivanka. Good old Rude Boy Gulliani said it right to Fox Loves Me News: NOBODY TOUCHES MY DAUGHTER. Except me.

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