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The Secret Diary of Donald J Trump, aged 71 ¾

Sock It to Little Rocket (Man)

9 March 2018

Deer Dairy,

Really hope Babbon Obama is watching TV now. Even Cable FAKE News is finally telling the truth: I HAVE FORCED Kim Ping Pong TO THE BARGAINING THING! They laught at me when I said my nuclear button was biger than his like their laughing now about my STEAL TARRIFFS ARE TARRIFIC!!!! But see who’s come crawling to beg America to let them live now! NOW I PUT MY FOOT ON HIS SCRAWNEEY LITTLE YELLOW NECK AND SNAP IT. The weaklings and losers we’ve had for so long could never do WHAT I DID IN ONE MONTH. Or so. I knew Little Rocket Man could never handle the psychologicallism warfare I was putting him under! SAME THING WILL HAPPEN WITH STEAL TARRIFFFS AND THE WALL! Next move: I fire him! Deer Dairy, it is time for some REGIME EXCHANGE! Nice to think I already have a legacy: the man who defeated North Korn-Hole-E-Ah. I’m thinking the Democrats will start standing to clap me now and the Niger-Americans will stop NEALING FOR OUR GRATE NATIONAL ANTHEM. One down, one to go: the chinks dealt with, now it’s time for black footballers.A goodly mood to go play some golf in!I always win there, too.

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