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The Secret Diary of Donald J Trump, aged 71 ¾

Pearls Before Swines

7 March 2018

Deer Dairy,

How sadly to be alone at the top but owning a penthouse is better than being a homeless bum like Babbon Obama, I threw him out the White House and Penthouse is better than Playboy but Hustler is best because it makes them SHOW RESPECT and also pink! Felling sorrowful. Everybody hates you because they don’t have your brains or charm or money or willpower I HAVE ALL THE BESTLY and they jealousy you. Why would he go now, when he didn’t go after I started the White House Nazi Fan Club in Charlotte? NO ONE REALLY CARES ABOUT TARIFFS ON STEAL! I’m not REALLY going to put tariffs on steal anyhow! I don’t even know what a tariff is; some kind of sales tax? It’s just what you say to keep them quite in Ohio. But why, O Deer Dairy, do they leave me now? Was it not always this way, asked the man and the man said, “Yes, just poor little old rich me standing in the playground or the Oval Orifice all alone without nobody by myself.” Their all just jealousy. On CN-FAKE NEWS-N last night THEY LAUGHT AT ME. I want CNN and Country Club people to like me. THEY DON’T LIKE NIGER-AMERICANS EITHER. They just pretend they do, so they don’t have to be my friend. Very sadly, Deerest Dairy. The best-known, most famous man with the best ratings in the world goes into a little room all by himself feeling very sadly. Hahahaha: WHO HAS THE GOLDON TOILET?

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