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The Secret Diary of Donald J Trump, aged 71 ¾

​Me Alone Again Naturally Terrific

Everything I did for those Republican losers and they can’t even keep the House! I win them the Senate with my exhaustingly trips all over the country – 72 rallies in six days, Deerest Dairy, just me winning everything for them with my grandly speaking and bestly words, making every nationalist proud, like me – and they lose the House!!!! HOW CAN THEY DO THIS TO ME THE DEMO RATS WILL PUBLISH MY TAX RETURNS NOW!!!!

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The Second Coming

The excitablement is tremendous!!! The Democrats were afraid to make it a referendum about me but I made it a refer-END-SMART about me!!! Not even the return of Jesus “H” Christ could be as terrific because he is not nearly as popular as me now!!!! MY RATINGS ARE THROUGH THE ROOF!!!! WAY BETTER THAN A CROWN OF THORNS!!!!

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​It’s No Wonder They Call It Pittsburg!

Don’t want me to come to Pits-Burg WELL THEN TRY AND GET YOUR FEDERAL MONEY THEN!!!

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Tragic Loss of Life but Guns Don’t Kill, Democrats Do!

How could they say I, who do SO MUCH FOR PEACE IN THE WORLD, ALMOST GOT THE NOBLE PEACE PRIZE FOR TAKING OUT LITTLE ROCKETMAN’S NUKES but do they give me a parade?

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White Nationalist Blowing Up All Over America

What a grate leader, to impulsify people to ACTUALLY BOMB CNN FOR ME!!!! Baboon Obama would kill for ratings like that!!!!

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