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Stupid Firetrucking Americans

BILL MAHER’s HBO show, Real Time, is the most crucial television in the world now. A funny guy, a jokester, a man who became rich and famous by being a total smartass, Bill Maher may be recognised, in the future, as the most serious person in America right now. He could carry the title of ‘the Conscience of the United States” but I prefer to think of him as the grain of sand in the oyster that might yet turn the American Left into a pearl. And Bill has had one thing going for him ever-since, as we say in Barbados.

Bill Maher has always known that Americans are stupid.

They are. This is not opinion, but fact.


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The Last Satire in America

Satire: The use of humour, irony, exaggeration or ridicule to expose and criticize people’s stupidity or vices.

ANYONE WHO thought that Donald Ciretrunt would somehow mysteriously ‘become more presidential’ if he won the election got the rudest possible awakening a week ago, when Ciretrunt deliberately placed both feet upon the corpse of an innocent woman, murdered by savages, to stand up for those fundamental American values of Nazism, anti-Semitism and white supremacy.

Ciretrunt snuffed out the American Dream with his support for a group he ought to have condemned; and he just about extinguished satire, too. How the firetruck do you exaggerate the occu-ciretrunt of the White House supporting Nazis?

There’s only one piece of satire left in America and here it is, presented in the vain hope that people who think of themselves as ‘good Christians’ can see the Devil if he is exposed in front of their eyes.


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King of Trumps

For the Rip Van Winkles who fell asleep in 2017, it was 20 years ago, today, that the 45th American president was inaugurated. The 88-year-old future BC Pires reflects, on 20 January 2037, on how the USA was changed

THE LAST GREAT President’s inauguration on 20 January 2017 was overshadowed by nothing, not even the early morning bombings of abortion clinics all over the USA by the newly-formed fighting wing of the Promise Keepers, the Covenant Enforcers. The liberal communist socialist BBC, CNN and other leftwing media/guerrilla groups thrust microphones at the Last Great President

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Firetruck It Man

And I think it’s going to be a long-long time/ ‘Til touchdown brings me round again to find/ I’m not the man they think I am at home/ Oh no, no, no, I’m a rocket man/ Rocket man burning out his fuse up here alone – Elton John, from the song, “Rocket Man”

NOT EVEN TWO proper weeks in and already this year is sizing up to be a long-long one. Still fully seven days clear until the installation of President Jackass, and the longest four years in history actually begins counting down and, as if Time itself fears that unholy inauguration, the hours preceding it drag by and the minutes grind down into individual seconds that creep like moss; torture and time at the dentist’s pass this way.

On the up side, though, at least it will seem we’re living that much longer.

But then, why would we want to?



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The NY Times Q&A Bootleg

THE DONALD, whom I really must force myself to refer to respectfully as, “the Jackass-elect”, started this week by stunning the world in a New York Times interview in which he flip-flopped on global warming, the Mexican wall, Crooked Hillary, Obamacare and everything else he said deeply sincerely. What the firetruck, the world said to itself, must the earlier, off-the-record conversation with NYT publisher Arthur Sulzberger Jr have been like?

Luckily for the world, I have it. Like all my other world journalistic scoops, I can certify this is 100 per cent authentic because I made it up myself, the way the Donald makes up 87 per cent of his facts.

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