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Stormy Democrats, Koreans, No Stormy Daniels

23rd January 2018

Dear Dairy,

Old tricks become old tricks because they’re the bestly tricks. I’M NOT AN OLD TRICK. I’m young. I’m only 51 or so but the kike-doctor who gave me bony spurts for $100 grand says I’m the fittest 71-year-old in the world IT IS LIKE I AM 51 I am so fit and strong and NOT FAT. Obamba is fat. That kid Melania brings to the White House is fat. And I wasn’t an old trick for Stormy Daniels, she said I was the bestliest ever and she’s had thousands so she knows. But that’s the old trick: stop them from talking about the alleged prostitute I allegedly paid to allegedly pee on me by getting them talking about a government shutdown that didn’t happen!It was like a revolving door shutdown: it’s open-it’s shut-no, it’s open! Have a stormy weekend sitting of Congress and EVERYBODY FORGETS STORMY THE HOOKER! Sorry, the porn star – like there’s a difference! Like every woman isn't really a ho under the expensive clothes a man buys for her! And, before the Fake News could recover from the double-shutdown-whammy, I hit ‘em again with TAX ON CHINESE WASHING MACHINES. Or Korn-hole-E-A or wherever. Another shithole Asian country filled with geeks. Who cares? Of course, Deerest Dairy, I’m not REALLY going to ban Samsung washing machines – they’re wayyyyyy better than the American crap. Worst-in-House and Sergeant Electric is what they should be called! All my TVs are Samsung and I have, like, lots. More than anyone. I have more TVs than a fucking Brandsmart and Best Buy combined! I watch seven at a time! Nobody watches TV better than me! I’ll just wait for the Korean Chinks to protest about the ban, climb down, tell the base, “It’s a rigged system folks” and they’ll cheer. And no one will read all that shit Stormy said about me! And THEY call ME stupid, Deer Dairy!

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