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TGIF columns are in order by date from the most recent.

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Come Out, Come Out, Wherever You Are

THREE THURSDAYS AGO, Justice Devindra Rampersad, in the Jason Jones Case, declared the old buggery laws unconstitutional and, on the steps of the Hall of Justice, two kinds of people gathered: a large LGBT group, quivering with the sheer delight of finally being seen as deserving of equal treatment before the law; and a smaller, snarling group of Muslims & Pentecostals – strange bedfellows, indeed – who openly attacked the LGBT people either verbally or physically for the sin of being exactly what God made them.

And you don’t need a burning bush or a holy prophet to foresee that, in time – and probably a short time – the numbers in those two groups will reverse, but not their attitudes, and that little happy LGBT crowd, which represents the hope for freedom of all downtrodden humanity, will be greatly outnumbered by the religious folk, who claim to speak for God and are willing to kill, if not die, for what they insist he wants.

And then one of two things will happen.

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Holier than Thou, Faggot!

IN THE SAME week, a big one even by the limitless standards of Trinidadian excess, a 17-year-old child was charged with the murder of a newborn one, and one of T&T’s most globally successful citizens was outed as lesbian.

And, notwithstanding this glaring concurrence, religious believers will still refuse to put their fingers on the one thing that brings the two together: total firetrucking ignorance, masquerading as moral righteousness.

The same people who were horrified last week that Justice Devindra Rampersad’s in the Jason Jones Case declared the buggery law unconstitutional will be horrified this week that a 17-year-old could allegedly commit murder; and they will be convinced that “the family” can only be saved by re-criminalising homosexual sex and the nation by the reintroduction of the death penalty.

And both positions are equally ignorant; and just as ineffective.

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Saved by the Old Bat

Dubbya Bush is one of the world’s great losers, worst ratings ever as Commander-in-Chief, except for Babbon Obama, but it’s an ill wind that blows no gooder than Stormy. His dead mother’s taken the heat offa me! All the Fake News and even the Good Fox Loves Me News are showing nothing but Barbara Bush repeats! Stupid bitch, taking my headlines, but at least no one’s talking about Michael No-Cojones and Jim Criminally now!

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The Arc of the Covenant

JUSTICE DEVINDRA RAMPERSAD, in the Jason Jones Case, yesterday declared the old buggery laws unconstitutional and good T&T Christians are devastated; they did not think they were going to be left behind at all, far less in quite this way. Family life and morality are now, apparently, utterly destroyed, and the creeping, evil LGBT agenda advanced.

Imagine, the good Christians say, we may soon be forced to treat homos & lesbos as if they were human!

Exactly what the old slave-owners said, two centuries ago, after Emancipation, the last time family life and morality were so utterly destroyed, and superior people were forced, by law, against their will and better judgement, to act as if people they knew to be inferior were their equals.

How long, good Christians worry, will it be before homosexuals will aspire to the highest offices in the land? As if homosexuals, from Alexander the Great through Leonardo Da Vinci to Alan Turing, haven’t benefitted humanity since the start of time.

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Bareback-Riding, Limp Shrimp-Hiding

Remembering that old Negro spiritual for a week now, “If not for bad luck, I wouldn’t have no luck at all”. Or something. They TOLED me not to say nothing about Stormy. THEY MADE ME REPETE IT, LIKE, A ZILLION TIMES: I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT STORMY! So, when the Fake News asked me what I knew about the agreement with Stormy, what was I supposed to say?

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