The Secret Diary of Donald J Trump, aged 70 ¾
Thank God It’s Friday
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Firetruckery of the Day
My Star Wars-loving daughter came out of her bedroom this morning and greeted me with, “May the fourth be with you”, as I imagine many other Princess Leia wannabes did all over the world, but there’s one little boy who’s got the wrong firetrucking forces aligned against him.
In mid-January, the whole world smiled in deep, unifying human pleasure over the story of Murtazi Ahmadi, the little Afghan boy whose brother made him his own Lionel Messi No 10 Argentina-like shirt with a pale blue-and-white striped plastic bag. When Messi himself responded by sending Murtazi genuine kit, the whole world rejoiced.
Well, not the whole world.
Murtazi and his family have this week fled to Pakistan, after 30 phone calls threatening Murtazi’s father, Muhammud, for teaching his son football in stead of the Koran.
But wait for the backlash that ensures this kind of firetruckery will never stop until little boys have no dreams and little girls, no clitorises. “That isn’t Islam,” they will say.
Yes. Yes, it is. Inshallah. Imagine a situation so bad that fleeing to Pakistan to escape Islamic fundamentalism is a smart move; if that isn’t firetruckeries, the term has no meaning.