BC Pires


Firetruck it All

edge

Thank God It’s Friday

A Hope in Hell

Conclusion; or perhaps “The End”YOU DON’T HAVE to be intelligent to stop believing in God, just open-minded. Once admitted as a possibility, the idea that there is no God takes root and blossoms, eventually, into the rejection of even well-intended superstitions.What’s more, there being no God explains everything in a complete way that there being a God cannot. The non-believer does not have to agonize over why God would allow bad things to happen to good people; he can simply go to work to make the world even a slightly better place; give a thirsty read more...

​Holy Smoke & Mirrors

Part II of A Hope in HellFROM THE TIME we grasped that to be born meant having to also die, we’ve not been happy with the concept. William Saroyan, the great American short story writer (he is to O. Henry what backgammon is to ludo, or vintage calypso is to modern soca), said it best: “Everybody has to die but I always believed an exception would be made in my case”; if there were a God, surely She would give William Saroyan a break for that, precisely because it is literally deathly funny.We have to die, we have to die, we have to die and God knows there’s no read more...

​We Haven’t a Prayer

Part I of A Hope in HellTHE WORLD IS going to Hell in Donald Trump’s hand-basket and our trouble isn’t that we haven’t a prayer, but that we have far too many of them. The great challenge we face, as a species, is not Islam, nor radical Islam, nor even radical fundamentalist jihadist Islamic terrorism; no, the great challenge we all face is religious belief itself. Faith taints everything. But I’ll come to that dead end by the scenic route, probably two Fridays from now. (Coming from Trinidad and being raised Catholic, the power of threes has always held me in its sway.)Because it is the scientific requirement – it is impossible to know read more...

​Plight of the ISIS

OUR FIRST PRIME minister, the late ingrate, Dr Eric Williams, gave the “nation” three watchwords, “Discipline, Production, Tolerance” – but, since Independence, Trinidadians have honoured only one. From the ruling sector (who uphold all the pomp of office and none of its dignity) through the middle-class patriots (who scrabbled with Haitians for refugee status in Canada) to the working-class women brawling over fried chicken or bony men, as a nation, the only thing we have ever produced with discipline is empty melodrama.In tolerance, though, Trinis excel: we’s put up with every-firetrucking-thing. We do not protest even matters of life & read more...

(Con) Men of Letters

ANYTIME Trinidad threatens to out-Trinidad itself – like when the PNM spends its first year in government proving that it doesn’t grasp the concept and Tobago promptly resoundingly votes them back in – I cheer myself up by diving into my “mails-bag” for letters to the editor which never got printed in the newspapers.A rudimentary recollection of the law of copyright forces me to confess I stole this idea from the National Lampoon, the American satirical magazine that, though very funny, had no choice but to fold, because satire has no place in a modern American reality that actually elected a joke for a president. (How the firetruck does anyone satirize that?) As always, I certify these letters are 100 per cent authentic because I made them up myself. It being “the season”, read more...

Firetruckery of the Day

​For the Gemini in All Our Bellies

The greatest modern challenge – and it’s really unique to our age – is to separate the ludicrous from the genius. We have to overcome the challenge everywhere from the Cabinet through the campuses to the catwalk: are we supposed to admire or sneer at those policies, courses or fashions? But, extreme sushi notwithstanding the contradiction of our age hasn’t so far been literally served up on a plate in front of us. What do we make of the “hamdog”, apart from a meal – or two? Successfully patented by Mark Murray, an Australian entrepreneur/joker-who-got-taken-seriously, the hamdog is doing well in Western Australia, whose most famous son until now was Heath Ledger. The bit that allowed the patent, I’m guessing, is the bun, which is handmade and designed to accommodate both the hot dog sausage and the burger patty; from above, it looks like two Starship Enterprises had such great sex, they shook off their tailfins. At last, a meal for the junk food addict who just can’t make up his mind; wait for the hamdogandfries the old Mark is surely cooking up at the back of his mind.

Firetruckery thanks to Ira from a Brooklyn more famous for its hot than its hamdogs.

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Trini to d Bone

The Arima Kid - pt I

You’ve been involved in media and culture longer than most people have been alive?Since 1946! I should say a little before that because, as a child, I wrote little things to the Guardian’s Tiny Mites. I suppose I had that desire to be in the limelight, that vanity. My parents gave me the Read more

The High Cost of Living

My name is Robin Foster and I’ve found out that, to go about the business of living, you have to accept your own death.If you look at my face good, you go see Pelham St and the Circular Road running right through it. I’m from the Belmont that David Rudder sang about.Myself and Trevor Read more

BC Pires

is a barrister by qualification (class of 1984) but, for the last 28 years, has done nothing but write to earn a living. His flagship column, Thank God It’s Friday, has appeared in either the Trinidad Guardian or the Trinidad Express since Ash Friday, 1988. He has written about film from an informed lay perspective for the same period and is as close as the cricket-playing West Indies gets to a film critic (though he refuses that label). He has written for many publications, including the London Sunday Observer and the London & Manchester Guardian. Since 2010, his personality-based feature, “Trini/’Bago to D Bone” has been appearing in the Trinidad Guardian. Since 2002, he has been the editor of Cré Olé, the Trinidad & Tobago annual restaurant guide.

Sitar Satire

My name is Ravi Sankar and I don’t play the sitar but I love Trinidad & Tobago music.I know they have a man, Ravi Shankar, and his daughter, Anoushka, who are famous for playing the sitar. I will tell people my name and normally I will get a little tease in-between. I don’t really listen Read more

The World of Trinidad & Tobago

My name is Anthony Collymoore and I recently retired after teaching at Morvant/Laventille for 27 years.I’m from Cascade. That “nasty white boy” area.I married twice, first to Fay Lopez, back in 1985. We have two children, Jacob, now 30,m and Justin, 28-ish. And now Debbie Read more

BC Pires

is a barrister by qualification (class of 1984) but, for the last 28 years, has done nothing but write to earn a living. His flagship column, Thank God It’s Friday, has appeared in either the Trinidad Guardian or the Trinidad Express since Ash Friday, 1988. He has written about film from an informed lay perspective for the same period and is as close as the cricket-playing West Indies gets to a film critic (though he refuses that label). He has written for many publications, including the London Sunday Observer and the London & Manchester Guardian. Since 2010, his personality-based feature, “Trini/’Bago to D Bone” has been appearing in the Trinidad Guardian. Since 2002, he has been the editor of Cré Olé, the Trinidad & Tobago annual restaurant guide.