Thank God It’s Friday

The Wondering Due

Every year, five million Catholics from all around the world visit the Vatican, never-see-come-for-Holy See. Two million Muslims make the hadj to Mecca, a pilgrimage required by every one of all of the many versions of Islam. Another million Catholics find their way to Medjugore, to stand on the same spot where, in 1981, six children imagined they saw the ghost of a virgin who, two millennia before, apparently gave birth to God.Last week, a single individual, made a far less irrational read more...

​Mutiny at SEA

LAST WEEK, the adult fates of 18,000 children were settled in one morning by the Secondary Entrance Assessment examination. In sympathy with those little ones who will grow up to find that the only way they can put their hands on a BMW or an Audi is to wash it for someone else, I began my own Sixties Entrance Exam last Friday, with the maths section of the last Newsday practice test. Today, I tackle the “Language Arts” in the hope that I have some; apparently, we do “Language Arts” and read more...

​SEA Trouble Now

YESTERDAY, in a single morning, the rest of the lives of the 18,000-odd children who sat the Secondary Entrance Assessment examination was decided. For the vast majority who will not in September enter a “prestige school” – which, in Trinidad, means one where you see your teacher more often in class than in the club and your classmates do not leave you in a coma when they take your lunch money – yesterday was the last day of innocence, but at least it didn’t result in a custodial read more...

Come Out, Come Out, Wherever You Are

THREE THURSDAYS AGO, Justice Devindra Rampersad, in the Jason Jones Case, declared the old buggery laws unconstitutional and, on the steps of the Hall of Justice, two kinds of people gathered: a large LGBT group, quivering with the sheer delight of finally being seen as deserving of equal treatment before the law; and a smaller, snarling group of Muslims & Pentecostals – strange bedfellows, indeed – who openly attacked the LGBT people either verbally or physically for the sin of being read more...

Holier than Thou, Faggot!

IN THE SAME week, a big one even by the limitless standards of Trinidadian excess, a 17-year-old child was charged with the murder of a newborn one, and one of T&T’s most globally successful citizens was outed as lesbian. And, notwithstanding this glaring concurrence, religious believers will still refuse to put their fingers on the one thing that brings the two together: total firetrucking ignorance, masquerading as moral righteousness. The same people who were horrified last week that read more...
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The Secret Diary of Donald J Trump, aged 71 ¾

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The King of Presidents

10 May 2018 Deer Dairy Crooked Hilary-Worshipping National Enemy Fake News deflaming my character saying I’m not presidentialish but I SHOWDE THEM LAST NITE!!! Who acted more presidentable than me, late last night, when every sensibly person is either snoring in their bed or chomping on triple-cheeseburgers and watching the Cartoon Network? Nobody! I’m the most presidentish of all time and countries, including Not So Grate Britain, don’t invite me to the royal wedding I’ll pull out read more

Hand on the Nuclear Button, Hands off Ivanka

4 May 2018 Deer Dairy Fake News getting worsely. I’ve acheeved more for international global peace in the world by beating up Little Rocket Man than every other world leader combination, especially Angle-Uglier Merkel, but will Fake News back me to get the Noble Peace Prize AND THE NOBLE ECONOMICALS AND SCIENCTIFICS PRIZES TOO because who invented Trump Vodka, which was a gift to Vladdie, I COULD HAVE MADE TRUMP TEQUILA but I don’t like Mexicans, who does, no one, not even the read more

BC on TV

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A Trifecta of What’s Best on the Box for Sunday 20 May 2018

Any of the first four films in the “Also Ran” could have been named the BEST FILM OF THE DAY. Today’s Number One Film: *Paddington, 2.47pm Cinemax BEST FILM OF THE DAY. Watch this if you liked Babe, Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, or The Adventures of Milo and Otis. There are pure-kiddie movies – such as Finding Nemo, Up and The Incredibles – that are so good, grownups might like them; and there are other “kiddie” films that are really grown up films kids can also enjoy, like the Shrek and Toy Story films. Paddington may be the best of the latter lot so far made, at least for West Indians who have left home: with frequent soundtrack appearances by a live calypso band (featuring lead vocals by Tobago Crusoe) singing kaisos by Lord Kitchener – London is the Place for Read more...

Trini to d Bone

The Arima Kid - Pt II

You were doing something serious and important?But of course!Yet it was trivialized?[Interrupting] Everybody, everybody, everybody!Was that not painful?Very painful. Even my closest connections, some of my immediate family and other people would say, “Listen, man, why you don’t do something serious?” But it give opportunity! I remember we went to Cedros and there was a man with a funny face. They called him “Ugly”. He was making faces at me from the audience. People were saying, “Move from here!” But I put him on [camera] and asked him, “How you going?” And he made his funny face. He got a job just from that, what we called DEWD or Public Works. He became a personality, more than a clown. He became “Mr Ugly” instead of just “Ugly”. So it Read more...

BC Pires

is a barrister by qualification (class of 1984) but, for the last 28 years, has done nothing but write to earn a living. His flagship column, Thank God It’s Friday, has appeared in either the Trinidad Guardian or the Trinidad Express since Ash Friday, 1988. He has written about film from an informed lay perspective for the same period and is as close as the cricket-playing West Indies gets to a film critic (though he refuses that label). He has written for many publications, including the London Sunday Observer and the London & Manchester Guardian. Since 2010, his personality-based feature, “Trini/’Bago to D Bone” has been appearing in the Trinidad Guardian. Since 2002, he has been the editor of Cré Olé, the Trinidad & Tobago annual restaurant guide.
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