Thank God It’s Friday

​Bride of Dracula

SHAMIMA BEGUM, the British schoolgirl who, in 2015, aged 15, sneaked into Syria to become a jihadi wife/child bride and do her bit for the I-Sissies, was “a bit shocked” to be stripped of her British citizenship, simply because she joined a group that beheads people they disagree with, throws homosexuals off of tall buildings to lead them to righteousness and, when they’re not doing God’s work with AK-47s, rapes children for a little R&R. Shamima made things a little harder for herself (and easier for the British Home Office to disenfranchise her) by declaring that the 2017 Manchester pop concert bombing was “kind of retaliation” for attacks on the I-Sissies. Because she has a Dutch husband and a possibly Bangladeshi mother, Shamima is currently shopping read more...

Trini to d Bone

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The Salt (Nuts) of the Earth

Picture courtesy Mark LyndersayPicture courtesy Mark LyndersayMy name is the Honourable Prophet Andy and I am a nuts vendor on the road. I’m from the Bobo Shanti order. Which I’m a man keep my Sabbath. Work six days, rest holy unto the Lord. I’m from Laventille, born on top the Hill, which part I had all my boy days. But recently I’m living Maracas St Joseph. Laventille people used to live as one. I coulda eat by you, you coulda eat by me. It was just a love. Until the Eighties, when the guns and the gangs start to come in. Before, you coulda go on the basketball court. People from Morvant, from all over, used to confederate and do things together. Laventille still nice. It’s just a certain bad seed does spoil the whole great bunch. God is in my heart, God is in everybody heart. It’s just that some people let Read more...
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BC Pires

is a barrister by qualification (class of 1984) but, for the last 28 years, has done nothing but write to earn a living. His flagship column, Thank God It’s Friday, has appeared in either the Trinidad Guardian or the Trinidad Express since Ash Friday, 1988. He has written about film from an informed lay perspective for the same period and is as close as the cricket-playing West Indies gets to a film critic (though he refuses that label). He has written for many publications, including the London Sunday Observer and the London & Manchester Guardian. Since 2010, his personality-based feature, “Trini/’Bago to D Bone” has been appearing in the Trinidad Guardian. Since 2002, he has been the editor of Cré Olé, the Trinidad & Tobago annual restaurant guide.

The Secret Diary of Donald J Trump, aged 71 ¾

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Thanks-Taking Day Blues

26 November 2018Deer DairyWhat a bigly disappointment Thanksgiving always is!!!! You have to pretend to like being at home and Melania gave the turkey drumstick to that fat little kid AGAIN IT IS MINE EVEN IF I DON’T EAT IT and I prefer KFC and Big Macs anyway. YOU CAN’T EAT TURKEY WITH FRIES. Just throw away the turkey and eat the fries, bestly advice I always give myself but at least I am around to save America and MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN LIKE A SHARK MAKE AMERICA GREAT WHITE AGAIN. read more

​Me Alone Again Naturally Terrific

13 November 2018Deer DairyEverything I did for those Republican losers and they can’t even keep the House! I win them the Senate with my exhaustingly trips all over the country – 72 rallies in six days, Deerest Dairy, just me winning everything for them with my grandly speaking and bestly words, making every nationalist proud, like me – and they lose the House!!!! HOW CAN THEY DO THIS TO ME THE DEMO RATS WILL PUBLISH MY TAX RETURNS NOW!!!! I all ways get what I want except when I have to read more

BC on TV

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A Trifecta of What's Best on the Box for Sunday 11 November 2018

On what might be the best day for film choice on cable/DirecTV, ever, all but one of the Also Rans categories have a bolded film – and there’s a Western – one of the best – in the top three! And each of the three choices could legitimately be called BEST FILM OF THE DAY. Today’s Number One Film:*No Country for Old Men, 7.30pm Paramount Channel.Watch this if you liked Apocalypse Now,The Three Burials of Melquiades Estradaor any film by Sam Peckinpah. Part thriller, part Western, as upsetting as it is intriguing, this modern-day drug money heist flick is Cormac McCarthy’s bleak 2005 novel brought to life. It was a natural fit for the Coen Bros’ dark humour and deadpan violence, but it is so overwhelmingly hopeless, it discourages anyone from declaring it Read more...
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