Thank God It’s Friday

Jobs for the Loser Boys

SUPPORTERS OF the United National Congress and the People’s National Movement will be arguing for months over who really won Monday’s local government elections, citing numbers of held seats lost, the popular vote, voter turnout etc – but I’m more concerned, today, with next year’s scheduled general election, when 41 people, in some permutation of the UNC and the PNM, must clearly lose a seat in the House of Representatives. What are those poor, useless future sufferers to do? In the spirit of goodwill fostered by the parang and thing, I’ve come up with new jobs for the loser boys, based on their House performances. In the whole House, the most natural Parliamentary/real life skill set match for a new career is easily Colm Imbert, who will go from minister of finance to standup comedian. I know some irresponsible and inconsiderate persons will suggest that he has spent the last five years as finance minister doing exactly that, standup comedy, so it won’t technically read more...

Trini to d Bone

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Bacchanal Mujer

Picture courtesy Mark LyndersayPicture courtesy Mark LyndersayMy name is Pati Garcia and I am a midwife at [the registered charity NGO childbirth centre] Mamatoto. The Mamatoto building in Belmont has been standing for 11 years! For an NGO to last this long in the Caribbean doing what we do is unheard of! And I love being part of that anomaly. I was born in East Los Angeles, California, in the USA but, in Trinidad, I would call myself, “an East girl” – because I’m definitely not from, “the West”. Although I have the complexion for it, the West wouldn’t be my vibe at all! I moved to Trinidad [in 2016] because I knew, deep down in my guts, Donald Trump would get elected. It was a green light for all the racists to come out and vote. I am half-Mexican and half-Peruvian, the child of immigrants. So I always felt, Read more...
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BC Pires

is a barrister by qualification (class of 1984) but, for the last 28 years, has done nothing but write to earn a living. His flagship column, Thank God It’s Friday, has appeared in either the Trinidad Guardian or the Trinidad Express since Ash Friday, 1988. He has written about film from an informed lay perspective for the same period and is as close as the cricket-playing West Indies gets to a film critic (though he refuses that label). He has written for many publications, including the London Sunday Observer and the London & Manchester Guardian. Since 2010, his personality-based feature, “Trini/’Bago to D Bone” has been appearing in the Trinidad Guardian. Since 2002, he has been the editor of Cré Olé, the Trinidad & Tobago annual restaurant guide.

The Secret Diary of Donald J Trump, aged 71 ¾

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Thanks-Taking Day Blues

26 November 2018Deer DairyWhat a bigly disappointment Thanksgiving always is!!!! You have to pretend to like being at home and Melania gave the turkey drumstick to that fat little kid AGAIN IT IS MINE EVEN IF I DON’T EAT IT and I prefer KFC and Big Macs anyway. YOU CAN’T EAT TURKEY WITH FRIES. Just throw away the turkey and eat the fries, bestly advice I always give myself but at least I am around to save America and MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN LIKE A SHARK MAKE AMERICA GREAT WHITE AGAIN. read more

​Me Alone Again Naturally Terrific

13 November 2018Deer DairyEverything I did for those Republican losers and they can’t even keep the House! I win them the Senate with my exhaustingly trips all over the country – 72 rallies in six days, Deerest Dairy, just me winning everything for them with my grandly speaking and bestly words, making every nationalist proud, like me – and they lose the House!!!! HOW CAN THEY DO THIS TO ME THE DEMO RATS WILL PUBLISH MY TAX RETURNS NOW!!!! I all ways get what I want except when I have to read more

BC on TV

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A Trifecta of What's Best on the Box for Sunday 11 November 2018

On what might be the best day for film choice on cable/DirecTV, ever, all but one of the Also Rans categories have a bolded film – and there’s a Western – one of the best – in the top three! And each of the three choices could legitimately be called BEST FILM OF THE DAY. Today’s Number One Film:*No Country for Old Men, 7.30pm Paramount Channel.Watch this if you liked Apocalypse Now,The Three Burials of Melquiades Estradaor any film by Sam Peckinpah. Part thriller, part Western, as upsetting as it is intriguing, this modern-day drug money heist flick is Cormac McCarthy’s bleak 2005 novel brought to life. It was a natural fit for the Coen Bros’ dark humour and deadpan violence, but it is so overwhelmingly hopeless, it discourages anyone from declaring it Read more...
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