BC Pires


Firetruck it All

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Thank God It’s Friday

​From Castro to Columbus, Ohio

The day before Bajan Independence Day and the world is falling apart, and me with it. The last time rain fell like this, Led Zeppelin covered, “When the Levee Breaks” – “if it keeps on raining, praying won’t do you no good” – and, the time before that, an old Jew named Noah built an ark. Rain coming down in sheets too thick to see through, like politicians’ lies, windshield wipers slapping time, I’m wringing my own hand with mine. Wash away my troubles on the road to shambolic Bridgetown.These roads weren’t made for this kind of water, nor these little houses. If the water gets high enough, some will actually float away: chattel-houses, not read more...

The NY Times Q&A Bootleg

THE DONALD, whom I really must force myself to refer to respectfully as, “the Jackass-elect”, started this week by stunning the world in a New York Times interview in which he flip-flopped on global warming, the Mexican wall, Crooked Hillary, Obamacare and everything else he said deeply sincerely. What the firetruck, the world said to itself, must the earlier, off-the-record conversation with NYT publisher Arthur Sulzberger Jr have been like?Luckily for the world, I have it. Like all my other world journalistic scoops, I can certify this is 100 per cent authentic because I made it up myself, the way the Donald makes up 87 per cent of his read more...

Red, White & Blues

INTO THE second week now and only a handful of people remain as shocked as I am that we’re actually using the word “President” and that jackass’ name joined together, though I still can’t bring myself to even write the words down; and if I’m in the Nile, it’s the one with the blues, brought on by the whites.Not everyone who voted for him was a racist, as ersatz English TV news reporter Jonathan Pie said, in his tragic, hilarious – and, depressingly accurate – rant, “Trump: How & Why” but although Pie is right about the need to persuade people to humanist perspectives rather than read more...

​Trump Translation

WELL THE AMERICAN DREAM – or at least the 2016 version of it fantasized about by 63 per cent of white males and 53 per cent of white females – has turned into the rest of the world’s nightmare: the planet’s biggest jackass is now headed for the White House. It’s full bigoted-misogynistic-racist speed ahead with the Devil taking the foremost and God help the rest of us; in succinct Caribbean historical terms, the white folks are back in charge of the Great House and they’ll surely whip us all into shape pretty damned soon.What was unimaginable mere hours ago is now the reality we will suffer for the next four years, if God – or Devil – spare read more...

Brace Yourself, Hillary

Question: What is Australian foreplay? Answer: Brace yourself, Sheila!WE’RE NOW JUST days from the US presidential election and the old joke about Australian foreplay might apply to a new fool – me! Bryce y’self, BC! But, seriously, neither my psyche nor my sphincter could take a Donald Drumpf victory next Tuesday; it might not necessarily portend the end of the actual world, but my own would certainly come crashing down.The consequences of the Donald becoming the White House don are just too horrible to imagine, like a Trinidadian government that thinks it has a mandate or boy-band members who think they’re musicians. The very worst thing read more...

Firetruckery of the Day

​For the Gemini in All Our Bellies

The greatest modern challenge – and it’s really unique to our age – is to separate the ludicrous from the genius. We have to overcome the challenge everywhere from the Cabinet through the campuses to the catwalk: are we supposed to admire or sneer at those policies, courses or fashions? But, extreme sushi notwithstanding the contradiction of our age hasn’t so far been literally served up on a plate in front of us. Read more
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​Guess Who's Back in Firetruckery?

I haven’t firetruckery-ied around here for some time. I’m not sure if my reluctance to post arose because the US presidential election has by itself provided more firetruckeries than the world has needed for months, so more from me seemed otiose, or because I have myself been under a lot of all kinds of pressure in the same period. For one reason or another, e.g., most of them lying outside my choice, I Read more
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Mano-a-mano showdown

Still reeling from the Brexit, like the rest of the world – apart from the few million English & Welsh people who voted for it – and I find myself hoping that my thinking is a bit muddled, like how you just can’t do a cryptic crossword or watch The Usual Suspects if you have a head cold.

Because, if I’m not muddled, it’s becoming clearer and clearer that there is a right wing tide (packaged as concern for one’s own safety) that is rising fast enough to float the presidency of the Drumpf.


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Cub Your Enthusiasm

It’s not been a good week to be an animal anywhere in the world, as Harambe, the17-year-old silverback gorilla at Cincinnati Zoo might have told you, if he hadn’t been shot dead in his own pen (in the understandable haste to save the life of a three-year-old boy who’d wandered into the enclosure).

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Trini to d Bone

The Arima Kid - pt I

You’ve been involved in media and culture longer than most people have been alive?Since 1946! I should say a little before that because, as a child, I wrote little things to the Guardian’s Tiny Mites. I suppose I had that desire to be in the limelight, that vanity. My parents gave me the Read more

The High Cost of Living

My name is Robin Foster and I’ve found out that, to go about the business of living, you have to accept your own death.If you look at my face good, you go see Pelham St and the Circular Road running right through it. I’m from the Belmont that David Rudder sang about.Myself and Trevor Read more

BC Pires

is a barrister by qualification (class of 1984) but, for the last 28 years, has done nothing but write to earn a living. His flagship column, Thank God It’s Friday, has appeared in either the Trinidad Guardian or the Trinidad Express since Ash Friday, 1988. He has written about film from an informed lay perspective for the same period and is as close as the cricket-playing West Indies gets to a film critic (though he refuses that label). He has written for many publications, including the London Sunday Observer and the London & Manchester Guardian. Since 2010, his personality-based feature, “Trini/’Bago to D Bone” has been appearing in the Trinidad Guardian. Since 2002, he has been the editor of Cré Olé, the Trinidad & Tobago annual restaurant guide.

Sitar Satire

My name is Ravi Sankar and I don’t play the sitar but I love Trinidad & Tobago music.I know they have a man, Ravi Shankar, and his daughter, Anoushka, who are famous for playing the sitar. I will tell people my name and normally I will get a little tease in-between. I don’t really listen Read more

The World of Trinidad & Tobago

My name is Anthony Collymoore and I recently retired after teaching at Morvant/Laventille for 27 years.I’m from Cascade. That “nasty white boy” area.I married twice, first to Fay Lopez, back in 1985. We have two children, Jacob, now 30,m and Justin, 28-ish. And now Debbie Read more

BC Pires

is a barrister by qualification (class of 1984) but, for the last 28 years, has done nothing but write to earn a living. His flagship column, Thank God It’s Friday, has appeared in either the Trinidad Guardian or the Trinidad Express since Ash Friday, 1988. He has written about film from an informed lay perspective for the same period and is as close as the cricket-playing West Indies gets to a film critic (though he refuses that label). He has written for many publications, including the London Sunday Observer and the London & Manchester Guardian. Since 2010, his personality-based feature, “Trini/’Bago to D Bone” has been appearing in the Trinidad Guardian. Since 2002, he has been the editor of Cré Olé, the Trinidad & Tobago annual restaurant guide.